How spiritual laws work

- Geronda, what laws are called spiritual?

I'll explain it to you. Just as there are laws of nature, so in spiritual life there are spiritual laws. Suppose a person throws a heavy object upward. The more force and the higher he throws it, the more force the object will fall down and break. This is a natural natural law. And in spiritual life, the higher a person rises from his pride, the stronger his spiritual fall will be, and in accordance with the height of his pride he will be broken [spiritually]. After all, a proud person rises up to a certain limit, and then falls and suffers complete failure. “Be exalted and humble yourself” (Luke 18:14; Matt. 23:12). This is a spiritual law.

However, there is a significant difference between natural and spiritual laws. Natural laws are “unkind” and man cannot change them. But spiritual laws are “compassionate”, and a person can change them. Because [in the case of spiritual laws] he deals with his Creator and Creator - with the Many-Merciful God. That is, quickly realizing how “high” he has flown with his pride, a person will say: “My God, I have nothing of my own, and I’m still proud?! Forgive me!” - and immediately the careful hands of God pick up this man and gently lower him down, so that his fall remains unnoticed. Thus, a person is not crushed by the fall, because he was preceded by heartfelt contrition and inner repentance.

The same thing happens in the case of the Gospel law: “Everyone who takes a knife with a knife will perish” (cf. Matt. 26:52). That is, if I hit someone with a sword, then according to spiritual law I must pay for it by having them hit me with a sword. However, if I realize my sin, if my own conscience “beats me with a sword” and I ask God for forgiveness, then spiritual laws cease to operate, and I, like a healing balm, accept His love from God.

That is, in the depths of God’s judgments - and His judgments are an abyss - we see that God “changes” when people change. If a disobedient child comes to his senses, repents and is tormented by his conscience, then the father lovingly caresses and consoles him. Man can change God's decision! This is no joke. Are you doing evil? God hits you on the back of the head - Do you say “sinners”? He gives you His blessings.

Noble Children of God

Some people repented of their sin and God forgave them. Spiritual laws have ceased to operate, but despite this, people do not forget their sin. They urgently ask God to be punished for their sin in this life - in order to pay for it. And since they insist on this, the Good God fulfills their loving requests. However, in His Heavenly savings bank, in Paradise, He saves for them the bribe and the spiritual interest that accumulates on it. Such people are the noble children of God, His most loving children.

In the book “The Spiritual Meadow” [Blessed John Mosch. Spiritual meadow] tells about Avva Pimen, who was a shepherd. One day a man visited him and asked Abba to receive him for the night in his cell. Having no special place for guests, Ava placed the visitor where he spent the nights, and he himself went to spend the night in one of the caves. In the morning, when he returned to his cell, the visitor asked him: “How did you spend the night, Ava, weren’t you cold?” “No,” answered Avva Pimen, “I spent the night well. I climbed into one cave and saw a sleeping lion in it. I also lay down and leaned my back against his mane. From the lion’s breath, it was hot in the cave, like in an oven, and I not frozen". - “Aren’t you afraid that the lion will eat you?” “No,” answered Avva, “I wasn’t afraid, but know that wild animals will eat me.” - "How did you know that?" “In the world I was a shepherd,” Abba answered. “Once I was tending my flock, and my dogs tore to pieces one man who was passing by. I could have saved this man, but I showed indifference. Since that time, I have constantly asked God to help me.” devoured by wild animals. And I believe that God will show me this mercy." Indeed, this Abba was devoured by animals. However, in another life such people will be in the most chosen place.

Geronda, in the comments to one patristic book, I read that when a person commits a sin, he must be punished in order to pay for the evil he has done.

No, that's not true. If a person repents, then he is not punished: Christ has mercy on him. One must be very careful when commenting on patristic texts, because some “commentator” may be a good person, but his interpretations may be incorrect. If you are not sure that the commentator interprets everything correctly, then it is better to read only the patristic text. One person told me that the Prophet Isaiah was sawed with a wooden saw because he had to be sawed for the sins of the people. Whereas, in fact, the Prophet himself asked God to be sawed to death for the sins of the people, and this great love of the Prophet for people inclined God to the request. But the number of times the saw was passed over the Prophet’s body, the number of crowns God gave him. In order to understand some things, you need to have certain prerequisites, to know something. Here, Abba Pimen, about whom I spoke, could understand the Prophet Isaiah, although not the same thing happened to them, because in the case of the Prophet Isaiah there was a sacrifice for the people.

Geronda, do similar cases occur in our era?

Yes, sure. I remember one incident that happened when I lived in the Philotheus monastery. One man burned a Turk in an oven who had stabbed his father to death. Then he repented, came to the Holy Mountain, became a monk and with zeal began to perform monastic deeds. However, day and night he asked God to allow him to burn. One day a fire broke out in the monastery. I was a cellarer at that time. I filled buckets and other containers with water, and we all ran to put out the fire. And when we put out the fire, we found this monk burned. This scene still stands before my eyes... What happened? The monk in question was then eighty-five years old. Another monk looked after him, he was seventy-five. That day, the monk who was caring for the sick man, wanting to ease his pain from rheumatism at least a little, rubbed his legs with kerosene and, wrapping him up, laid the old man near the burning hearth. A burning ember jumped out from the chestnut wood. It fell on the legs of the wrapped monk, they caught fire, he burned himself, and a fire broke out in the monastery. I was very upset about what happened and couldn’t calm down! Then the confessor told me: “Don’t be upset. He himself asked God for this to atone for his sin. What happened was a gift from God.”

Spiritual laws and God's love

- Geronda, do spiritual laws always act immediately?

Anything can happen. Often you can only be surprised! Someone, as soon as he becomes a little proud, immediately suffers complete failure, that is, the spiritual law acts with lightning speed. For example, a nun washes glass and the proud thought comes to her that she washes it better than the other sister. Immediately she is distracted by something [- unsuccessful movement] - and the glass breaks. And in other cases, spiritual laws do not take effect immediately.

- Geronda, when spiritual laws act immediately, what does this mean?

This is a good sign. In such cases, a person must understand that God’s love covers him, because he pays for [each of his mistakes] separately, and does not pay for everything together [subsequently]. However, if spiritual laws do not apply to a person, this is dangerous. This shows that man is a child who has moved away from his Father - God, that he does not live in His house. There are people who constantly behave with pride and nothing happens to them. This means that their pride is so great that it has ceased to be human. She reached her highest degree - to demonic pride, to [satanic] exaltation. Such a person also falls, but from the other side of the peak. Falls straight to hell. He falls in a Luciferic fall, but those on this side of the peak do not see his fall. That is, the people in question do not fall under the influence of the spiritual law in this life, but the apostolic saying applies to them: “But wicked men and sorcerers will prosper in the worst way, deceiving and deceiving” (2 Tim. 3:13) .

Geronda, can a creation of human hands deteriorate because the one who created it admires it?

Yes, because spiritual laws come into play. God takes His grace from someone and the person spoils this thing, a work of art or the like. This happens so that those who are proud of the creation of their own hands will come to their senses and understanding.

Geronda, that is, if someone spoils something made by another, does this mean that spiritual laws have come into effect?

Yes, sure.

Isn’t it possible that a person spoils something simply due to carelessness or inability?

Such cases are rare. Therefore, live humbly as much as possible. Think about the fact that we have nothing of our own. Everything we have has been given to us by God. Everything we have is God's. Ours are only sins. If we do not humble ourselves, then spiritual laws will come into force in relation to us constantly, until our egoism is crushed. And may - may God arrange everything this way and humble us until death finds us.

Geronda, can a person not understand that spiritual laws have come into effect in relation to him?

If a person does not take care of himself, then he does not understand anything and does not receive help from anything. Nothing is good for him.

Geronda, that is, spiritual laws cease to operate only when a person humbles himself?

Yes, mainly, they stop acting out of humility or when there is nothing to ask of a person. I'll give you an example. One woman constantly beat her husband, and he did not tell anyone because he was a teacher and was afraid of losing his reputation. However, in his case, spiritual laws came into play. When he was little, he lost his father, and his widowed mother tried to train him to become a teacher with her small pension. And instead of thanking her, he beat her. What has this unfortunate mother suffered! And so, when he grew up and got married, God allowed his wife to beat him. God allowed this so that he would pay for his sin. But do you know what happened after? This man died, and his son began to beat his widow - his mother. Thus, she also paid for her sin. Then their son also grew up and got married. The girl he married was not right in the head. She not only beat him, but at the same time she also sang “Christ is risen from the dead, trampling down death by death”! Do you see how God arranged everything so that this person would also pay for his sins? However, at this point the spiritual laws ceased to operate, because there was nothing to ask of his unfortunate [crazy] wife.

-Geronda, if a person falls and grieves about it, then does he pay off his spiritual debts in a similar way?

Is he aware of his duty [to God] or is he grieving selfishly? If he realizes his debt, then he will no longer pay for his fall. However, if he does not realize his duty, then God will allow retribution. For example, a Christian should give alms to others. If a hard-hearted person does not give alms, but saves and saves money, then robbers come to him, beat him, take his money, and thus he pays for his mistake. If we have [spiritual] debts and do not pay for them in this life, then this is a very bad sign. This means that God has abandoned us. And if a person does not bear any punishments and accepts only blessings, then, apparently, he has done something good and for this good Christ pays him in this life - doubly and threefold. However, such a person does not pay for his mistakes. And that's bad too. Suppose I have done something good by ten percent, and Christ rewards me for it by twenty percent, and I have neither sorrows nor frustration. But in this case, I am not paying for my sins.

As Saint Isaac the Syrian says, misfortunes in this life reduce the torment of hell [

“Spouses, as far as possible, should cultivate the virtue of love, so that the two will always be united as one and so that the Third, our Sweetest Christ, will always be with them.”

A good start to family life

– Geronda, one young man who decided to take the path of family life asked me how to start it correctly.

– First of all, you need to try to find a good girl who will please his heart. Because everyone’s heart is disposed towards people in their own way. Some people feel affection for one person, others for another. We must look not at the fact that the bride is rich and beautiful, but, first of all, at the fact that she is simple and humble. That is, more attention should be paid not to the external, but to the internal beauty of the future bride. If a girl is a reliable person, if she is endowed with courage - but no more than it is necessary for a woman's character - this will greatly help the future spouse in all difficulties to come to full understanding with her and not suffer from headaches. If she also has the fear of God, there is humility, then they can, holding hands, cross to the opposite bank of the evil river of this world.

If a young man seriously looks at some girl as his future bride, then I think it is better for him to first inform the girl’s parents about this through one of his loved ones. Then he needs to personally talk with the girl’s parents and with her about his intentions. Subsequently, when they are engaged and engaged - it is good that the time between engagement and wedding is not long - he should look at the bride as his sister and treat her with respect. If both the bride and groom, with curiosity and with all their might, try to preserve their virginity before the wedding, then in the Sacrament of Marriage, when the priest places crowns on them, they will abundantly receive the Grace of God. Because, as St. John Chrysostom says, the crowns of the Sacrament of Marriage are symbols of victory over pleasure.

Subsequently, the spouses should, as far as possible, cultivate the virtue of love, so that the two are always united as one and so that the Third, our Sweetest Christ, dwells with them. Of course, at first, until the newlyweds’ family life returns to normal and until they get to know each other well, they may experience some difficulties. This happens at the beginning of any business. A few days ago I watched one chick. He flew out of the nest for the first time to find food for himself. The poor thing did not know how to catch insects and, flying at the height of a human palm from the ground, spent a whole hour until he caught some kind of booger. Looking at the bird, I thought that starting any business is not easy. A university graduate, having received a diploma and started working, experiences difficulties at first. A novice in a monastery at the beginning of his monastic life also experiences difficulties. And a young man who gets married will also experience difficulties at first.

- Geronda, is it acceptable for the bride to be older than the groom?

– There is no rule of the Church that would say that if a girl is two, three or even five years older than a young man, then they cannot marry.

In the difference of characters lies divine agreement

One day a man came to my kaliva and began to complain that he was very upset because of constant disagreements with his wife. However, I realized that there was nothing really serious between him and his wife. This man has his own “bitches” and “bumps”, his wife has hers, so they cannot get along with each other. [Both] need to be “tweaked” a little. Take two unplaned boards. One has a knot in one place, the other – in another. And if you want to connect them as is, unplaned, then there will be a gap between them. However, if you slightly plan the first board in one place, the second in another, they will immediately fit one against the other. You just need to plan with the same plane.

“I don’t find a common language with my wife! – some husbands complain to me. – We are completely different in character! She is a completely different person. How does God allow such absurdities? Couldn’t He have arranged everything in such a way that the spouses would have the same characters, so that they could live spiritually?” “Don’t you understand,” I answer them, “that in the difference of characters lies divine harmony? Different characters come together in harmony. Imagine if both you and your wife had the same personalities! God forbid! Imagine what would happen if, for example, both you and your wife were easily angered. You would leave no stone unturned from your home! What if both spouses had equally soft, meek characters? Yes, you could sleep while walking! If neither you nor your wife could beg for snow in winter, then you would, of course, approach each other, but you would both go to hellish torment. What if they were both wasteful? Would you be able to run a household? You would waste your fortune, and the children would remain in the open air.”

If a difficult, wayward man finds a wife to match himself - one who can even caress about a stake on her head, but she will do things her own way - then, of course, they will suit each other. Is not it? However, after a day of living together, they will grab each other's hair! Therefore, look at how God arranges everything: He makes sure that a good, kind person marries an obstinate person, and then the second spouse will be able to receive help, because initially he could be disposed in a good way, but at a young age he could be carried away by evil .

A slight difference in the characters of the spouses helps create a harmonious family, because one of the spouses complements the other. In a car, you need both pedals: gas to drive, and brake to stop in time. If the car had one brake, it would not move, and if it only had an accelerator, it would not be able to stop. “You are both on the same foot,” I said to one married couple, “and therefore are not suitable for each other!” Both of these people were very impressionable. If something happened at their home, they both dropped the reins and began to wail. “Oh, what a misfortune befell us!” - the husband laments. “Oh, what a bitter grief this is!” - the wife sobs. That is, one spouse “helps” the other to fall into even greater despair! The husband cannot cheer up his wife and tell her: “Wait a minute, what happened to us is not that serious.” I have seen this in many families.

Having different characters, spouses can achieve more in raising children. One of the spouses will slow them down a little, and the other will say: “Well, give the children a little freedom.” If both husband and wife tighten all the screws for their children, they will lose them. But they will lose their children even if they both allow them to do whatever they want. If the mother and father have different characters, then their children are in balance.

I want to say that [in a family] everything is necessary. Of course, spouses should not go too far with regard to the characteristics of their character, but each of them, in accordance with their character, should help the other. If you eat, for example, something very sweet, you will want something salty. For example, when you’re full of grapes, you want to eat them with a piece of cheese to cut through the sweetness. Or garden greens: if they are too bitter, they cannot be eaten. But if the vegetables are slightly bitter or sour, then they are both tasty and healthy. But if a person of a sour temperament begins to say that everyone else needs to become just as sour, and the one with a bitter temperament calls on everyone to become bitter, and the third one, the salty one, insists that everyone become salty, then they will reach mutual understanding. they won't come.

Respect between spouses

God wisely ordered everything. He endowed the man with some talents, the woman with others, so that the woman would obey him. After all, if God had given the same courage to a woman, the family would not have been able to resist.

These are the free, dissolute children of the previous generation. What will the others turn into - those kids whose parents divorced under the automatic divorce law? How many young people taking drugs have passed through my kaliva this summer! Most of these unfortunate people are children from broken families. The guy is twenty-seven years old, and he is in despair and asks for help! And you know, children from broken families can be seen from afar. I have a jar of Turkish delight on the bench near my kaliva. And when these guys come, they take a piece of Turkish delight from the jar and start eating it, and then, when they see me coming out of the kaliva onto the porch, not having finished the sweet yet, they immediately run up to kiss me. Their hands are all covered in powdered sugar from Turkish delight, and they’re going to kill me all over! These children are deprived of love and tenderness. It makes no difference to them whether they have parents or not. Whether their father comes home, whether he leaves, whether he lives with them, whether he doesn’t live - nothing changes for the unfortunate ones.

“Right” and “wrong” in married life

I noticed that some confessors tell husbands who are at odds with their wives: “Be patient, this is your cross. What can you do? For such patience, God will give you a reward.” Then the wives go to the confessors, to whom they say the same thing: “Be patient, be patient, in order to have a reward from God.” That is, both spouses can be guilty and the confessor persuades both to endure. Or one of the spouses is to blame, and the confessor tells him: “Be patient, be patient.” Thus, the spouse who is guilty of the fact that there is no peace in the family calms his thoughts by allegedly tolerating the other spouse, while in fact he is his tormented daily.

One day a certain man came to my kaliva and began to complain that he was living poorly with his wife. In their family, it smelled like a divorce. Neither he nor his wife wanted to see each other. Both were teachers and had two children. They never ate at home: the husband went to one restaurant for dinner after school, and the wife to another. And for the children they bought some sandwiches, and the unfortunate children, when their parents came home, reached into their pockets and bags to see what dad and mom had brought to eat! The children were going through a big drama! Among other things, this man sang in church, but his wife did not go to the church where he sang - she went to another church. Their dislike for each other was so strong! “What can I do, father,” he told me, “I am carrying a big cross. Very big. Every day there are scandals in our house.” - “Did you go to your confessor?” – I asked him. “Yes,” he answered, “I went.” The confessor told me: “Be patient, be patient. You bear a big cross." “Come on,” I told him then, “now let’s see who carries the big cross.” Let's start from the beginning. When you got married, did you fight like that too?” “No,” he answers. – We lived very friendly for eight years. I adored my wife! I revered her more than I revered God! Then she became a different person! She began to torment me with her whining, nagging, oddities...” Do you hear what’s going on! He revered her more than he revered God! “Come on,” I say, “come here, my dear!” So, did you reverence your wife more than God? Well, who is now to blame for the fact that you have reached this state: you or her? It was because of you that God took His Grace from your wife.” Then I asked him: “What are you thinking of doing now?” “We’ll most likely get divorced,” he said. “Perhaps,” I ask, “have you started an affair on the side?” “Yes,” he answers, “I’m thinking of leaving for one woman.” - “Come to your senses! - I say. - Come to your senses! Don't you understand that everything is your fault? And first of all, you need to ask God for forgiveness for the fact that you revered your wife more than you revered Him. Then go to your wife and ask her for forgiveness. Tell her: “Forgive me. It’s my fault that our relationship has reached this state, and that our children are now suffering.” Then go and confess - and reverence God as God, and love your wife as a wife. And you will see that everything will work out for you.” My thrashing did him good. He started crying and promised that he would listen to my advice. Soon he came to me again, already joyful: “Thank you, father, you saved our family. Everything is fine with us: both my wife and I, and our children.” Do you see how? He himself is to blame for everything, and at the same time he thinks that he “bears a very big cross”!

And you should never justify women who come to your monastery and complain about their husbands. In such cases, I do not justify either husbands or wives. On the contrary: I make both of them think. For example, a woman begins to complain: “My husband drinks, comes home late at night, uses foul language...” “Look,” I advise her. - When he comes home drunk at night, be kind to him. If you meet with a sour face and start nagging: “Why are you so late?”, “Is it really possible to come home at this time?”, “When will you finally change?”, “What kind of bitter grief is this?” ?”, “But this hasn’t been going on for a day or two!”, “And how long will I endure all this?” - then the devil will advise him: “Are you so sick that you just can’t part with this fool? Wouldn’t it be better to go and have fun with someone else?” That is, you may be right, but the devil will catch him from the other side. But if you behave kindly with him, endure what is happening a little and pray without expressing your complaints to him, then when he sees a little sunny warmth and light from you, he will think and correct himself.”

And then the husband comes and starts his own: “My wife nags me, torments me with her whining...” - “Oh, you,” I say, “are shameless! Your children and your suffering wife are impatiently waiting for you until midnight, and you come home drunk and start swearing! Shame on you! Did you marry in order to torment your family?”

But there are times when both husband and wife can be right. One day a group of pilgrims came to me, and I told them about how chaste a man Makriyanis was. He was distinguished by both physical and mental purity. Hearing this, one of my listeners jumped up and shouted: “It’s impossible for Makriyanis to become a saint!” “Why,” I say, “not to happen?” “Because,” he answers, “he beat his wife.” “Listen,” I say, “I’ll explain to you what happened between him and his wife. When Makriyanis had a penny in his pocket and some widow with children came to him, he gave her the money. His unfortunate wife grumbled and began to nag him. “After all,” she told him, “you have your own children. Why did you give the money to her? Then he slapped her and said: “You have a husband who will provide for you. But this unfortunate woman doesn’t have a husband. Who will take care of her? That is, both Makriyanis and his wife were right.”

In addition, if one of the spouses lives spiritually, then, even if he is right, he in some way “does not have the right” to be right. After all, being a spiritual person, he must treat injustice spiritually. That is, he must treat everything as Divine justice requires. He should strive for what gives peace to another. After all, if someone makes a mistake, being weak, then in some way he has mitigating circumstances. However, the other - the one who is in a better spiritual state and does not treat the first with understanding, does not meet him halfway - sins much more. If even spiritual people treat everything in a worldly way - from the position of worldly, human justice - then what will this lead to? To the point that they will constantly run around in worldly courts. This is why people suffer.

- Geronda, why do people experience so much suffering today?

- From the love of God. You, being a nun, get up early in the morning, fulfill your monastic rule, pray the rosary, make bows and the like. For worldly people, the difficulties they go through are their rule, their canon. Through these difficulties and sufferings people are purified. These sufferings are of greater benefit to them than a worldly carefree life, which does not help them to get closer to God or to deposit spiritual savings into a heavenly account. Therefore, people should accept sorrows and temptations as gifts from God.

The Good God, wanting His children to return to Him, just as the Good Father raises them through trials. He does this out of love, out of divine kindness, and not out of malice and not out of worldly legalistic justice. That is, wanting to save His creatures, wanting them to inherit His Heavenly Kingdom, God allows them trials. He allows them so that a person will undertake a struggle, a feat and pass exams for patience in pain, so that the devil cannot say: “Why are You giving him reward or how are You saving him? After all, he didn’t work.” God is not interested in earthly life, He is interested in the future life. First of all, He cares about our future life and only then about earthly life.

– Geronda, but why does God send many trials to some people, but not to others at all?

– What does Holy Scripture say? “The Lord loves him and punishes him...”"For example, some father has eight children. Five live at home with their father, and three leave home and forget about their father. If the children living with their father are guilty of something, he can pull their ears, or give a slap on the head, or, if they are reasonable, caress them, give them a chocolate bar. But those who live far from their father have neither affection nor a slap on the head. God does the same. People who live with Him, and those who has a good disposition, if they make a mistake, He punishes them with a “slap on the head,” and they pay for their sin. Or, if He gives them more “slaps on the head,” they accumulate heavenly rewards for themselves. And for those who live far from Him, He gives long years of life so that they repent. Therefore, we see how worldly people commit serious sins and, despite this, have material wealth in abundance, and live for many years without experiencing sorrow. This happens according to the Providence of God - so that these people repented. If they do not repent, then in another life they will have nothing to justify themselves with.

God hurts for the sorrows that people experience

What torment people experience! How many problems they have! Some come here to tell me about their pain in two minutes, on the go, and get a little comfort. One exhausted mother told me: “Geronda, there are moments when I have no strength left to endure. Then I ask: “My Christ, take a short break, and then let the torment come again.” How people need prayer! But, in addition, every test is also a gift from God. This is one more extra “point” in order to enter another life. This hope of reward in the future life gives me joy, consolation and strength, and I can withstand the pain of those sorrows that torment many, many.

Our God is not Baal, but a God of love. He is a Father who sees the suffering of His children from the various temptations and trials that torment them. And He will give us reward, if only we endure this small martyrdom of the test that has come to us, or, better said, the blessing that has come to us.

– Geronda, some ask: “But isn’t it cruel what God allowed? Doesn’t God hurt?”

– God’s pain for people who suffer from illnesses, from demons, from barbarians and the like, also contains joy for the heavenly reward that He has prepared for them. That is, God has in mind the reward that a person experiencing temptation will receive in Heaven; He knows what awaits such a person in another life, and this gives God “the strength to endure” this pain. After all, God allowed Herod to commit so many crimes ()! Herod killed fourteen thousand babies and many parents who did not allow the soldiers to kill their children! After all, these parents were also killed. Barbarian warriors, wanting to please their superiors, cut the babies into small pieces. And the more pain these babies experienced, the more pain God experienced. But He rejoiced just as much more for the greatest glory that they were about to receive in Heaven. He rejoiced for these little Angels, who were to form the angelic martyrdom. Angels from the martyrs!

During times of trouble, God comforts man with true consolation

God, being next to us, sees the sorrows of His children and consoles us, like a Good Father. What do you think, does He really want to see His child suffer? God takes into account all his suffering, all his crying and then rewards him for it. Only God gives true consolation in sorrows. Therefore, a person who, not believing in true life, not believing in God, does not ask for His mercy in the trials that torment the soul, remains in complete despair. such a person makes no sense. He always remains helpless, inconsolable and exhausted in this life, but besides this, he also condemns his soul forever.

However, spiritual people do not have their own sorrows, because they overcome all the Trials that happen to them, being close to Christ. Such people collect a lot of bitterness from other people’s sorrows, but at the same time they collect a lot of God’s love. When I sing “Do not entrust me to human intercession, All-Holy Lady”, then sometimes I stop at words “...but accept the prayers of Your servant...”." If I don't have sorrow, how can I say the words: “...sorrow will overwhelm me, I can’t stand it...”? How can I tell a lie? In a spiritual attitude towards trials there is no sorrow, because if a person positions himself correctly, spiritually, then everything changes. If a person touches Sweet Jesus with the bitterness of his pain, then all his bitterness and suffering turn into honey .

Having comprehended the mysteries of spiritual life and the mysterious way in which God works, a person stops being upset about what happens to him. He joyfully accepts the bitter medicines that God gives him for the health of his soul. Such a person considers everything [that happens to him] to be the result of his prayer, because he constantly asks God to whiten his soul. However, by treating trials in a worldly way, people suffer. But since God watches over each of us, then each of us must completely surrender ourselves to Him. Otherwise, a person’s life turns into torment: he wants everything in his life to go as he wants. However, everything does not go the way he wants, and therefore his soul does not find peace.

Whether a person is full or hungry, whether he is praised or treated unfairly, he should rejoice and treat everything with humility and patience. Then God will give him blessings - until his soul reaches such a state that these blessings will not fit into it. The blessings of God will no longer be possible for such a soul. And the more a person prospers spiritually, the more he will see the love of God and melt from this love.

Temptations and sorrows by God's permission

Sometimes the trials that happen to us are antibiotics that God gives us to heal the disease of our soul. These trials provide us with great spiritual help. A person gets a little hit on the back of the head from God, and his heart softens. Of course, God [and without testing us] knows what state everyone is in, but since we don’t know this, He allows us to go through trials - so that we know ourselves, discover the passions hiding in us and do not have Trials of excessive claims. After all, even if God turned a blind eye to our passions and took us to Paradise as we are, then in Paradise we too would raise a wave of confusion and displeasure. Therefore, God allows the devil to create temptations here, so that these temptations will knock the dust [of passions] out of us so that through sorrow our soul will be humbled and purified. And after that, God fills us with His Grace.

True joy is born from the bitterness that a person joyfully tastes for Christ - Who tasted bitterness in order to save us. A Christian should especially rejoice when a test comes upon him, and he himself did not give a reason for it.

Sometimes we say to God: “My God, not knowing what You will do, I completely surrender all of myself to You so that You will make a man out of me.” And God, hearing these words, wants to make me not only a man, but something more than a man. Therefore, He allows the devil to come to tempt and torment me. Now, suffering from cancer, I see the tricks of the devil, and it makes me laugh. What a devil this is! Do you know what soap the devil washes a person with when God allows him to tempt him so that the person goes through trials? The devil washes a person with the foam of his malice. That's how good his soap is! Just as a camel spits foam in anger, so the devil behaves in such cases. And then he starts rubbing the person. Of course, he does not do this in order to wipe away the dirt from a person and make him cleaner. No, he does it out of spite. However, God allows the devil to rub a person until his dirty spots are washed away and he becomes clean. After all, if God allowed the devil to rub a person the way one rubs clothes when they are washed, then the devil would turn the person into rags.

– Geronda, can we say that the various temptations that happen in our lives happen to us by the will of God?

– No, let us not confuse the will of God with everything that the tempter brings. God gives the devil freedom to tempt a person up to a certain point. And He also leaves man free to do good or evil. However, God will not be to blame for the evil that man does. For example, Judas was a disciple of Christ. But is it permissible to say that it was God’s will for him to become a traitor? No, it was Judas himself who allowed the devil to enter himself. One person asked the priest: “I ask you, father, to serve the funeral litany for Judas.” It’s the same as saying: “You, Christ, are unfair. It was Your will that Judas betrayed You. So help him now.”

It rarely happens that God allows some reverent people to go through trials so that someone living a bad life will come to their senses and repent. Some people, going through trials, pay for the sins of their lives, but at the same time they grumble unjustifiably. God gives them the opportunity to receive help, seeing the example of patience of those who suffer and do not complain, without being guilty. Such reverent people receive a double reward. Suppose a very good, reverent head of a family is sitting at home with his wife and children. Suddenly an earthquake begins, the house collapses, his entire family is covered in rubble, and after terrible suffering everyone dies. Why did God allow this? So that others - those who are guilty and are being punished - do not grumble.

Therefore, those who reflect on the great crosses that the righteous bore are never upset by their own small trials. Such people see: despite the fact that they have committed various sins in their lives, they suffer less than the righteous and therefore confess like a prudent thief (and below): “These people have not sinned in anything and have endured such suffering. What kind of suffering do we deserve?” However, unfortunately, some are like the thief who was crucified to the left of Christ. Such people say about the righteous who have suffered: “Look, they haven’t let go of the cross all their lives, and what a misfortune befell them!”

There are also cases - although very, very rarely - when God, out of love, allows some chosen ascetics to undergo great trials. He does this to crown them. Such people are imitators of Christ. Look: since Saint Synclitia spiritually helped many people with her exhortations, the devil wanted to interfere with her in this matter, and for three and a half years the saint remained silent due to illness.

And in other cases, a true imitator of Christ asks God for mercy to forgive the sins of his neighbors and not subject them to His righteous wrath. Such a person asks that God punish him instead of these sinners, despite the fact that he himself is not to blame. Such a person is in close relationship with God, and God is very touched and touched by the great noble love of His child. God not only shows such a person the mercy he asks for, that is, not only forgives the sins of others, but also allows this person to die a martyr's death - according to his earnest request. And at the same time, God prepares for such a person the best heavenly royal palace with even greater glory, because many people, with their external judgment, unfairly judged this person and thought that God was punishing him supposedly for his own sins.

Ingratitude for God's love

– Geronda, do trials always benefit people?

– Depends on how a person approaches trials. Those who do not have a good disposition begin to blaspheme God in the trials that come upon them.” Why did this happen to me? - such people grumble - Look, so-and-so is doing so well! Well, what kind of God is this who allows all this?” Such people do not say “they have sinned,” but they suffer. But pious people thank God like this: “Glory to God! This trial brought me to Him. God allowed this to happen for my good.” Previously, such people might not go to church at all, but after trials they begin to go to church, confess and receive communion. And, besides, God often brings very tough people at some point through trials into a state of such curiosity that they themselves turn one hundred and eighty degrees and crumble into dust from the pain they feel for everything they have done.

– Geronda, when everything goes well for us, should we say “Glory to Thee, God”?

- Yes, if we do not say “Glory to Thee, God” in joys, then how will we say it in sorrows? Do you thank God in sorrows and do not want to thank Him in joys? But, of course, if a person is ungrateful, then the love of God is unknown to him. Ingratitude is a great sin. For me it's mortal. An ungrateful person is not satisfied with anything, nothing brings him joy. He complains about everything. Everything and everyone is to blame for him. In my homeland, in Faras, they really loved grape must as a sweetness. And then one night one girl began to cry because she wanted grape must. What can you do? Her mother had to go to the neighbors and ask. After eating a little wort, the girl began to cry again, pounding her feet on the floor and shouting: “Mom, I want sour cream too!” - “Daughter, where can I find sour cream for you at this hour?” - asked the mother. No, “I want sour cream” and that’s it. What to do? The poor mother trudged to her neighbor and asked for a loan and some sour cream. After tasting the sour cream, my daughter began to cry again. “Well, why are you crying now?” - asks the mother. “Mom, I want you to mix them for me!” Well, mom takes the wort and sour cream and mixes it. But my daughter is all her own: she doesn’t stop crying. “Mom, I can’t eat them together! I want you to share them for me!” Well, now the mother had no choice but to give her daughter a hearty slap on the cheeks! So the wort separated from the sour cream.

I want to say that some people behave like this girl, and then God’s punishment comes to them. We need, at the very least - admitting our ingratitude - to thank God day and night for the blessings He gives us. By doing this, we will step on the heels of the cowardly devil, who, having gathered all his tangalashes, will disappear like black smoke, because [by admitting our ingratitude and thanking God for his blessings], we will be hitting the devil where it hurts.

Our small trials and the big trials of our neighbors

In each of the temptations that befall us, the best medicine is an even more difficult test that befalls our neighbors. We just need to compare it with the test that befell us ourselves, and see the great difference between them and the great love that God showed by allowing us a small test. By doing this, we will thank Him, we will feel pain for our neighbor who suffers more than we do, and we will pray with a heartfelt prayer that God will give him help. For example, my leg was amputated. “Glory to Thee, God,” I will say, “that I have at least one leg. After all, the other had both amputated. And even if I turn into a stump, if they cut off both my arms and legs, then I will still say: “Glory to Thee, God, for the fact that I walked on my feet for so many years, because others were already born into the world unable to move.” crippled."

Having heard that one head of a family had been suffering from bleeding for eleven years, I said: “What am I to do with him! A worldly person suffers from bleeding for eleven years, while he has children, he has to get up in the morning and go to work, while I did not suffer from these bleeding even for seven years!” . Thinking about someone else, about someone who experiences such suffering, I cannot justify myself. But starting to think that I suffer, while others live happily ever after, that at night I have to get up every half hour because I have intestinal problems, and I cannot sleep, while others sleep serenely sleep, I justify myself, even if I complain. Sister, how long have you been suffering from herpes?

– Eight months, Geronda.

- Do you see? God allows one to suffer from this disease for two months, another for ten months, and for a third for fifteen. I understand you. You're in a lot of pain. Some people are driven to despair by this disease. But if a worldly person, having suffered for one or two months from herpes and falling into despair from severe pain, finds out that a spiritual person has been suffering from the same disease for a whole year and at the same time endures and does not complain, then he immediately receives consolation. “Look at this,” says the patient. “I fell ill two months ago and have already reached despair, but the other poor fellow has been suffering for a whole year - and nothing!” But I also sin, while he lives spiritually.” Thus, no one has yet admonished or instructed this person, but he is already receiving help!

The sorrows that people cause us

– Geronda, if a person, according to God, endures sorrows and injustice from people, does this patience cleanse him of passions?

– She’s still asking! Yes, it doesn’t just cleanse it, it distills it! Is there anything higher than such patience? In this way a person can pay for his sins. Look: the caught criminal is beaten, imprisoned, there he fulfills his small “canon”. And if such a person sincerely repents, then he will be saved from eternal prison. Is it a trifle if through earthly suffering a person pays his bill in eternity?

Endure any sorrow with joy. The sorrows that people cause us are sweeter than the sweet “syrups” that those who love us feed us. Look, in the Beatitudes Christ does not say: “Blessed are you when you are praised,” but “Blessed are you when they revile you...”." () and in addition “you’re lying.” When a person is unjustly reproached, he deposits spiritual savings into the heavenly treasury. And if the reproach to which he was subjected is deserved, then he pays for his sins. Therefore, we must not only uncomplainingly endure the one who tempts us, but also feel gratitude towards him, because this person gives us a favorable opportunity to work in love, in humility, in patience.

Of course, the slanderers work in collaboration with the tangalashka. But usually a strong wind breaks and uproots those frail trees whose roots are shallow. But for those trees that have deep roots, a strong wind helps them take their roots even deeper.

We must pray for all those who slander us and ask God to give them repentance, enlightenment and health. We must not leave a trace of hatred towards these people in ourselves. Let us retain within ourselves only the experience of the temptation that has happened to us, throw away all bitterness [offenses and hostility] and remember the words of St. Ephraim the Syrian: “If you endure slander and after that the purity of your conscience becomes clear, then do not be arrogant, but work for the Lord in humility , who delivered you from human slander, so that you would not fall a pitiful victim."

Chapter two. About the disease

Diseases help people

– Geronda, what does the expression “good Paradise to you” mean?

- Have a good trip to Paradise.

- Geronda, maybe this expression means: “I wish you to be in a good Paradise”?

-Have you ever heard anyone talk about Paradise being unkind? But be that as it may, in order to get to the sweet Paradise, a person must taste a lot of bitter things in this life. This way he will receive a “foreign passport” of the tests he has passed. What's going on in hospitals! What tragedies! What pain people have! How many unfortunate mothers, going to surgery, think about their children and are tormented by worry about their family! How many fathers suffer from cancer, undergo radiation therapy, and how they suffer. These people cannot work, but they have to pay for housing, because they have so many expenses! Here others, being in excellent health, still cannot cope with expenses, and what can we say about those who are sick and at the same time exhausted, working in order to somehow cope with their family expenses. I am terribly oppressed by human grief. So many things I hear every day! Endless torment, difficulties!.. All day long my mouth is filled with bitterness from human grief, and in the evening I go hungry to rest a little. I experience enormous bodily fatigue, but at the same time I also receive inner relaxation.

– Geronda, does illness always benefit a person?

– Yes, it always brings great benefits. Diseases help people who have no virtues to appease God. Health is a big thing, but the good that illness brings to a person, health cannot give him! Illness brings spiritual good to a person. Illness is a great, great blessing. It cleanses a person from sin, and sometimes guarantees him a [heavenly] reward. The human soul is like gold, and illness is like fire, which purifies this gold. Look, Christ also said to the Apostle Paul: “My power is made perfect in weakness”(Cor. 12:9). The more a person suffers from illness, the purer and more holy he becomes - as long as he endures and accepts the illness with joy.

The only thing that is needed in some diseases is a little patience. God allows illness so that a person receives a small reward, and through this illness God cleanses a person from his existing shortcomings. After all, physical illness helps in healing mental illness. Physical illness brings humility to a person and thus neutralizes his mental illness. God benefits from everything for the good of man! Everything that He allows benefits us spiritually. He knows what each of us needs, and in accordance with this he gives us illness - either so that we accept a bribe for it, or so that we pay for some sins.

Heavenly reward for illness

– How is your mother doing?

- It’s bad, Geronda. From time to time her temperature rises very high, and this causes her unbearable pain. Her skin cracks, becomes covered with wounds, and she can't sleep at night.

– You know, such people are martyrs. If not completely martyrs, then certainly half martyrs.

- And for her, Geronda, her whole life is one continuous torment.

- This means that the bribe that she will receive will be special. Do you know how much she's going to get? Paradise is guaranteed to her. Seeing that a person can endure a serious illness, Christ gives him this illness, so that for a little suffering in life, an earthly person will receive a great reward in heavenly eternal life. He suffers here, but will receive a reward there, in another life, because there is Paradise, and there is reward [for sorrow].

Today a woman came with sick kidneys. She has been undergoing hemodialysis for many years. “Father,” she asked me, “please cross my hand. There is no living space in my veins, and I can’t even do hemodialysis normally.” “These wounds and ulcers on your hands,” I said, “in another life will turn into diamonds of greater value than the diamonds of this world. How many years have you been going on hemodialysis?” “Twelve,” she answered. “So,” I answered her, “you have the right to both a [spiritual] “one-time benefit” and a “minimum pension.” Then she showed me the wound on her other hand and said: “Father, this wound will not close. You can see the bone through it.” “Yes,” I answered her, “but through it you can also see the Sky. Be patient, I wish you good patience. I prayerfully wish that Christ will increase His love in you and you will forget about pain. Of course, I can wish you something else: that your pain subsides, but then many rewards will disappear. Therefore, what I wished for you at first is better.” From these words the unfortunate woman received comfort.

When the body is tested, the soul is sanctified. The body, our adobe house, suffers from illness, but the owner of this house - our soul - will forever rejoice in that heavenly palace that Christ is preparing for us. According to this spiritual logic - which is illogical for the people of this world, I also rejoice and boast about the bodily illnesses and defects that I have. The only thing I don't think about is that I have to receive a heavenly reward. I understand [my pain] to mean that [through it] I am paying for my ingratitude to God, since I did not respond appropriately to His great gifts and benefits. After all, everything in my life is one continuous [spiritual] feast: both my monasticism and my illnesses. God treats me kindly in everything, He condescends to me in everything. However, pray that He does not write all this down to me [only] for this life, because then - woe is me, woe! Christ would have done me great honor if I had suffered even more for His love. If only He would strengthen me so that I could withstand [this pain]. And I don't need retribution.

When a person is completely fine in terms of health, it just means that something is wrong with him. It would be better for him to be sick with something. I received such benefit from my illness that I did not receive from the entire feat of asceticism that I performed before I became ill. Therefore I say that if a person has no duties [towards others], then it is better for him to prefer health to illness. Being healthy, a person remains in debt, but from illness, treating it with patience, he will receive a bribe. When I lived in a communal monastery, one holy bishop, a very old one, named Hierotheus, came there one day. He was retired and labored in the monastery of St. Anna. When, leaving, he mounted his horse, his trousers rode up and everyone saw his terribly swollen legs. The monks who helped him get on his horse felt terrified. The bishop understood this and said: “These are the best gifts that God has given me. I ask Him not to take them away from me.”

Patience in pain

When we are sick with something, it is better for us to completely surrender ourselves to Christ. We need to think that our soul has a much greater need for patience and praise during pain than for a “steel” body, with the help of which we can perform great bodily feats. Indeed, from these exploits we are exposed to the danger of vanity and boasting, without realizing it, because it may seem to us that we are able to conquer heaven with our own “cavalry charge.”

Do you know how many years I have been in pain? Sometimes it is bearable, and sometimes it is unbearable. Pain that can be endured is a stable condition. Do you know how much I suffered from bronchiectasis and from the surgery performed on me! Then all these stories with the intestines began. Then for six months I suffered from an interdisc herniation and experienced severe pain. I could not make as many bows as I did before, and, despite the fact that it was even difficult for me to take care of myself, I had to help the people who came to me. Then I felt something hard in my stomach and they told me it was a hernia. When I was tired, it started to hurt and became very swollen. One day, on the eve of the feast of the Holy Great Martyr Panteleimon, the hernia became swollen and painful. However, I had to go to the Panteleimon Skete for the all-night vigil. “I’ll go, whatever happens,” I decided, because I absolutely had to be at this holiday. During the vigil, I wanted to sit down a little, but I thought that if I lowered the seat of the stasidia and sat down, everyone else would sit down. Therefore, I chose not to sit down at all and stood. After a twelve-hour all-night vigil, I thought that my condition would deteriorate greatly. I had barely returned to my cell when someone knocked on the iron rivet near the gate. “Open it, father!” – I heard someone’s voice. I laughed. “That’s it,” I told myself, “now just have time to turn around.” And indeed: soon others came and visited again and again. And in the evening, after dismissing the last visitors, I saw that my hernia... had completely disappeared! But the next day, after I rested, she appeared again! Then she bothered me and hurt me, but at the same time she gave me joy. After all, Christ knew about my condition, He also knew that it would benefit me. That's why He left me this hernia for five years. Do you know how I suffered with her?

– Geronda, do you remember when you had problems with your legs?

- That's another story. I couldn't stand on my feet. And when people came, it was not easy for me. Then the legs went away, but bleeding began. Doctors said it was ulcerative colitis. A new page has opened... Seven years of bleeding, pain... But don’t be upset, just pray for the health of my soul. I rejoice that God has honored me and rewarded me with this gift, and I do not want Him to take it away from me. Thank God, He allows me to benefit from illness. This is how we pass our patience tests. Today is one thing, tomorrow is another... “I will require patience”(). After all, if we, people who have at least some fear of God, do not endure, then what will worldly people have left to do? However, I see that many lay people are superior to us monks in virtue. My parents told me that the Farasiots, when they fell ill with something, did not immediately run to Hadzhefendi so that he could heal them. At first they endured the pain. They endured as long as they could - in accordance with their curiosity and patience, because they considered it a blessing to suffer. “Let me,” they say, “I, too, will torture my soul a little for the sake of Christ, since Christ experienced great torment in order to save me.” They went to Hajefendi for healing only when they saw that illness was interfering with their work and their family began to suffer. See what curiosity they had! Since these people, being laymen, thought in this way and endured, then how should I, a monk, think? Christ said: “In your patience you will gain your souls”(). Look: after all, Job’s alms at the time when he had all the blessings were not as pleasing to God as Job’s patience was pleasing to Him during the temptation that befell him.

- Geronda, when you say that a person suffers pain, do you mean that he does not show at all that he is in pain?

- At the very least, he can let others understand a little that he is in pain. He can tell them about his pain, but not talk about how strong this pain is. After all, if he completely hides his pain from others, then they may be tempted by some of his actions. For example, if a monk is in pain and cannot go to service, then if he does not tell others about his condition, perhaps someone without good intentions will be harmed.

Attitude to pain

– Geronda, what kind of pain do you call unbearable?

– Pain that causes tears to flow. These are not tears of repentance and not tears of joy. What category do these tears belong to, do you think?

- Maybe, Geronda, in the category of martyrdom?

– Geronda, when I experience severe pain, it is difficult for me to say the words “glory to Thee, God.”

– Why is it difficult for you to say them? Think about what Christ suffered. Beatings, humiliation, scourging, crucifixion! (; ; and ) And He endured it all “Syi is sinless”() in order to save us. And you, when you are in pain, say: “For the sake of Your love, my Christ, I will endure.”

– Geronda, what is needed to overcome pain?

– It takes courage and effort.

– How can a person overcome unbearable pain?

– If he is a worldly person, then with a worldly song, if he is a spiritual person, then with a spiritual song... One day my father developed a strong fever and began to have a terrible headache. Do you know what he did? He ate some salted herring, drank a glass of wine and started singing: “Wake up, my unfortunate, powerless people.” Then he sang a few more partisan songs, and his head went away! So - in order for the pain to dissipate - we will sing spiritual chants! I remember how I once caught a cold and started having such a terrible headache that my head was pounding. Well, I started singing one very beautiful chant, and the headache went away. Indeed, psalmody along with the Jesus Prayer helps a lot in such cases. It makes the soul tender, delights it, because constant sorrows and pains oppress the soul, and it grows cold. And last night I also couldn’t sleep because of the pain. I even thought that if I died before dawn, then one long day would come for me. After all, in another life there are no sunsets or sunrises... But then I took... a painkiller “pill” - I sang the troparion “Through the illnesses of the saints who suffered for You, I pray to the Lord and heal all our illnesses...”". The effect of this pill turned out to be long-lasting, it lasted all night! Do doctors have such pills?

– Geronda, they say that the pain intensifies at night.

– Yes, a person gets worse at night. But, in addition, during the day, communicating with people, talking, patients forget about their pain. At night they are left alone with themselves, their mind goes into pain, and it seems to them that it is intensifying. There is no escape from pain during illness, but the task is to turn the [spiritual] tuning knob to a different frequency in order to forget about these pains. After all, if you treat pain incorrectly, then it hurts you twice as much. If you think about the pain, the pain gets worse. But if you include a good thought in your work, for example, remembering those who are in even more pain than you, or if you sing something religious, then the pain is forgotten.

– Geronda, pain usually warns that something is wrong in the body. In this regard, what attention should be paid to pain?

– You need to test how much your strength is enough, and be attentive in accordance with this. Especially if we are talking about an elderly person. Attention is needed here, because if you continue to drive an old car at the same speed at which it drove when it was new, then it will fly into pieces: the wheels will fly in one direction, the carburetor in the other... When my lower back hurt, I I could not pray the rosary while standing. Seeing that my condition had improved a little, I tried to get up: while standing, I prayed the rosary and made prostrations. My lower back hurt again. I sat down a little. Then he said to himself: “Come on, try again.” The same thing happened again. My lower back hurt again. Then I already refrained from standing on my feet and bowing, but my thought was calm.

– Geronda, if I know that my pain does not have any other side effects on the body, then it does not bother me. However, it worries me if I know that pain is manifesting a serious illness.

– Look, for example, a sore lower back may not have serious consequences for the body, but this pain constrains, “paralyzes” a person, and he cannot move. But the body can tolerate other types of pain.

– Geronda, does pain harden a person?

– If a person does not treat pain spiritually, then it can harden him. However, by treating her spiritually, he has peace and is comforted by divine consolation. Then the illness becomes a holiday, a celebration. The person rejoices because he will be numbered among the confessors and martyrs. The holy martyrs forgot the pain, because their love for Christ was stronger than their pain and neutralized it.

– Isn’t a person who experiences pain and does not relate to it spiritually cleansed?

– A worldly person is purified, but a monk is not.

Complicity in someone else's pain

When a person hurts for his neighbor, this somehow brings God to tenderness. God rejoices because such a person, through his love, shows that he is related to God, and this gives him divine consolation. [If this divine consolation were not there], then man could not bear the pain for his neighbor.

– Geronda, how can you feel someone else’s pain?

– If you also experience pain, then you think about the pain of another person, take his place and experience great pain not for yourself, but for him. That is, your own pain helps you understand the pain of others. And when you accept your own pain with joy, you also comfort those who are in pain. But, of course, it’s one thing to simply find out that someone is sick, and another thing to get sick yourself. Then you understand the patient. Previously, when I heard the word “chemotherapy,” I thought it was “chemotherapy,” that is, I thought that cancer patients were given juices and natural food as a medicine. How was I supposed to know what “chemotherapy” was? However, now I understand what kind of torment this is.

– Geronda, what is more difficult to tolerate – chemotherapy or radiation?

- Heavier? One is not easier than the other - both radiation and chemotherapy... And the worst thing is that all these procedures kill your appetite. You need to eat well, but you can't eat anything. And the doctors insist: “You need to eat well.” You have to, but how are you going to eat here if all this chemotherapy and radiation kills your appetite and turns you into a corpse! When I underwent radiation, despite the fact that I was burning all over, I could not drink water at all. Even the water disgusted me. She started to make me want to vomit.

- Geronda, if you had agreed to the operation a little earlier...

– What is there “before”! I don’t pray for recovery, because, having cancer, I suffer with those who suffer. I better understand those who are hurting and share in their pain. But, in addition, the disease is spiritually useful for me. All I ask is that you be able to take care of yourself and help others. However, let it be as God wants.

If you have an illness and it doesn’t occupy you [that is, you don’t pay attention to it], then you, so to speak, have the right to ask God to improve the health of other people. But even that person who is not in pain, let him suffer at least a little for those who are in pain. As the Farasiots said: “I will carry your knapsack,” that is, I will take upon myself your pain, your torment, your grief.

- Geronda, how did they take it upon themselves?

If we do not pray for the sick, the disease will develop naturally. Whereas, if we pray for him, it can change its natural course. Therefore, always pray for the sick.

Chapter three. That bodily injury is a blessing from God

Correct attitude towards bodily injury

– Geronda, can injury lead a person to an inferiority complex?

- Oh, what nonsense this is!

– However, Geronda, sometimes this is exactly what happens to disabled people.

– It happens because they position themselves incorrectly. Having realized that injury is a blessing from God, people position themselves correctly and are freed from the inferiority complex. When a child has a physical injury and has not received spiritual help to rejoice in this injury, then he has mitigating circumstances if he suffers from inferiority. But if a child grows up and the feeling of inferiority remains with him, this means that he has not comprehended the deepest meaning of life. One nine-year-old girl developed a tumor in her eye, and doctors removed her eye. Children at school bullied the unfortunate girl, and she suffered. Her father came to my kaliva and told me what happened. “Geronda,” he told me, “I thought that if I buy her everything she asks me for, then I will help her, because she will rejoice and forget the frustration of her injury. I thought about it, but how can I do this? After all, I have five other small children who envy her because they don’t understand anything yet.” - “What are you saying? – I answered him. – The consolation you talk about is a false consolation. It won't solve the problem. If now you buy her any dress she asks you for, then a few more years will pass and she will ask you to buy her a Mercedes. Where will you find so much money? And then she will hear that some people on the ranch have their own airplanes, and she will demand that you buy her a plane. What will you do then? Do your best to help your child be happy that he only has one eye. Let him think that she is a martyr. Many holy martyrs had their eyes gouged out, their ears and noses cut off, and the world laughed at them. However, the saints, suffering from illness and human ridicule, did not yield and unbendingly endured the torment. If the girl understands this and treats her injury by praising God, then God will place her in the rank of confessors. Think: God arranged for the child’s eye to be removed in such a way that it did not hurt him, and then He will also place him among the confessors! In your opinion, this is nothing? After all, the girl has no sins that she should pay for with her injury. And from this injury she will have a clean reward.” The unfortunate father thanked me and left in a good mood. And he really helped his daughter understand that her injury was a blessing from God. He helped her praise God. So the girl grew up without deviations, entered the philological faculty of the university, graduated, now works as a teacher and enjoys more than other girls - who have everything, but who suffer because they have not understood the deepest meaning of life.

If people do not understand the deepest meaning of life, then they suffer even from the blessings and favorable opportunities that God gives them for their salvation. But the one who positions himself correctly rejoices in everything. Is he lame? And he is happy about it! Is he not very smart? And he is happy about it! Goal like a falcon? And he rejoices at this.

Of course, I understand the difficulties disabled people experience, and I pray very much for them, especially for girls. After all, for a young man, disability and injury are not so serious. However, for a girl who wants to get married, the injury is difficult to bear.

And how the blind suffer! The unfortunate cannot take care of themselves. If they walk, they stumble and fall... In my prayers, I ask God to give the blind at least a little light so that they can somehow serve themselves in their needs.

– So I, Geronda, am upset because I cannot read at least one chapter from the Gospel, because I see very poorly. And you told us that if a person reads a chapter from the Gospel every day, then he is sanctified.

– Why are you upset about this? In your opinion, if you read not a chapter, but only a few verses from the Gospel, or just one word from It, or just reverently kiss this sacred book, then you will not be sanctified? But, besides, you didn’t come to Christ yesterday. Why don’t you reflect on what you have read and heard to this day? The main thing is to position yourself correctly. Tell yourself this: “God wants me to be in this state now. A few years ago He wanted me to be a friend.” One reverent lawyer, having grown old, lost his sight. One day he told me: “Pray, holy elder, that I can read at least a little and that I can recognize my loved ones.” “You can recognize your loved ones by their voice,” I answered him. As for reading... you've been reading for so many years! Now say the Jesus Prayer. In all likelihood, this is what God wants from you now.” After this conversation, the unfortunate man began to experience greater joy than when he could see.

Heavenly reward for injury

If, having an injury, we endure and do not complain, then we receive a big reward. Because all crippled people put aside some kind of [spiritual] savings for themselves. For example, in the heavenly savings bank an account is opened for a deaf person for the ear with which he cannot hear, for a blind person - for a blind eye, for a lame person - for a lame leg. This is a great thing! If these people accomplish even a small feat against spiritual passions, then they will be awarded crowns from God. Look - after all, war invalids receive a special pension and, in addition, they are awarded orders.

If a person has beauty, daring, health and at the same time does not strive, does not try to cut off his shortcomings, then God will tell him: “In earthly life you have enjoyed the blessings given to you: daring and the like! What else do I owe you? Nothing". But a person who has an injury: whether he was born with it, whether he inherited it from his parents or acquired it later, should rejoice, because in another life he will receive reward. Especially if he is not to blame for his injury. In this case, he will have a pure reward, without “deductions” and “deductions”. After all, if a person all his life cannot, for example, stretch his leg, cannot sit down, cannot bow, and the like, then this is no small [test]. In another life, God will say to such a person: “Come here, My child, and sit on this throne forever.” Therefore, I say that it would be a thousand times better for me to be born mentally retarded, blind or deaf, because in this case a reward from God would await me.

If crippled people do not complain, but humbly praise God and live with Him, then they will take a better place in Paradise. God will place them with the confessors and martyrs who gave their hands and feet for the love of Christ, and now in Paradise they reverently kiss the hands and feet of Christ.

- Geronda, what if, for example, a person suffers from deafness and at the same time whines and complains about his fate?

“Little children whine too.” God doesn't care about many things. Look, good parents, loving all their children equally, provide special care for the weak or crippled children. In the same way, God, our good Father, deals with His physically or spiritually weak children, as long as they have a good disposition and give Him the right to intervene in their lives.

Mentally retarded children

How unfortunate mothers with mentally retarded children suffer. These children constantly make noisy scenes, dirty everything... Real martyrdom! I knew a mother whose child was mentally retarded. He has already grown up, become a healthy guy, and she cannot cope with him, because he is doing something unimaginable!.. He smears the walls, furniture, sheets with sewage... The mother puts things in order in the house, cleans and washes, arranges everything in places, and he turns everything upside down and stains it with sewage. The unfortunate woman hides detergents from him, and he finds them and drinks them! Entire cabinets are thrown down from the balcony. By the grace of God, he still hasn’t killed anyone. And this continues not a day or two. This goes on for years.

- Geronda, can a mentally retarded person have humility and kindness?

- How can he not! Take, for example, the mentally retarded child who is often brought here to the monastery by his parents. What intelligent person has kindness, which if he has? How he prays, how he bows! When, suffering from a hernia, I could not bow, my parents told him: “Father is sick, he cannot bow.” - “I’ll do them for him!” - said the kid and began to bow for me! And he continued to make these bows for me, sweating profusely. How much curiosity he had, how much generosity! Once one of the neighbor’s children beat him, and he, in response to the beating, extended his hand to him and said: “Be healthy.” Do you see how? Which of the “reasonable” people does this, even if they read the Gospel and a whole bunch of spiritual books? A few days ago, the whole family of this boy came here so that he could meet with me. When they arrived, he sat down next to me, and his little sister a little further away. Seeing that my sister was sitting far from me, he told her: “Go sit next to the priest,” and sat her down in his place. This child moved me, and I gave him a large enamel cross, which they brought me from Jerusalem, as a blessing. Taking the cross in his hands, he said: “Grandma, grandma!” - and showed how he would put this cross on his grandmother’s grave! Imagine! This little guy doesn't want anything for himself, he wants everything for others! He himself will go to Paradise “without exams,” but he will also bring his parents to Paradise.

How I wish I could be in his place! And may I not understand anything, and may I not be able to speak! God gave me all the blessings, but despite this, I ungratefully squandered these blessings. In another life, in comparison with this baby, even theologians will fade into the background. My thoughts tell me that in Heaven the holy theologians will not be in a better position in relation to the knowledge of God than such children. And maybe the Righteous God will give such children something more, because in earthly life they were deprived of much.

Mental illness

– Geronda, if a person falls into melancholy, what should he do to overcome it?

– Divine consolation is needed.

- How can I get this consolation?

– A person must “cling” to Christ, and Christ will give him this consolation. After all, curiosity is often intertwined with selfishness. Most schizophrenics are people of sensitive souls. A trivial incident happens to them, or they cannot overcome some difficulty and suffer greatly. Another can kill a person and act as if nothing happened. Whereas a sensitive person, accidentally stepping on a kitten’s paw, suffers and cannot sleep from frustration. Well, if he can’t sleep for two or three nights, then, of course, he’ll run to the doctor.

– Geronda, psychologists say that a mentally ill person will receive help if the cause [of his illness] is eliminated.

– Yes, but only if this reason exists. After all, sometimes people get confused in thoughts that can drive them crazy even in cases where what is happening is natural and, so to speak, justified. “Maybe I have a hereditary mental illness? Maybe I'm sick? – such people are tormented. I knew a young man who, while studying, read eleven hours a day. He received a scholarship and helped his family since his father was ill. At the end of his studies, he was exhausted because he was a sensitive, delicate person. He constantly had a headache, and he defended his diploma with great difficulty. Then he began to suffer from thoughts that he was suffering from a hereditary mental illness. What kind of heredity is there? Here, even if a person simply reads for eleven hours a day, this will lead to exhaustion. What can we say if a person studies, helps his parents, and at the same time has a sensitive soul!..

– Geronda, one child, after his father committed suicide, began to fall into melancholy and despondency. Maybe it's hereditary?

. “The child may have suffered mental trauma.” It cannot be said with absolute certainty that the reason here is heredity. In addition, we do not know what condition his father was in that caused his suicide. Of course, if the father is a closed person, then the child needs help. After all, if a child is also withdrawn and at the same time has the thought that he has bad heredity, then he can really get sick.

God always allows a person to go through trials that are within his power. But in addition to the severity of the trials, the severity of human ridicule is added to them, so that the soul bends under this additional burden and begins to grumble. People drive crazy people even more crazy with their mockery. After all, in the beginning, madness can be contained within certain limits. In the old days there were no psychiatric hospitals, and if a person went crazy, he was locked in a room with iron bars. I remember one crazy woman, her name was Peristera. She was kept locked in the house. Children threw stones at the windows and mocked her. The unfortunate woman flew into a rage, rattled the bolts, screamed and threw everything she could get her hands on from the house. However, in another life you will see that Peristera will be taller than many “smart” and “wise” women.

I remember one more incident. In one family, the eldest daughter was a little weak-minded. But she had a lot of kindness. She was forty years old, but she acted as if she was five. What temptations both adults and children gave her! One day her parents left her to prepare food while they went to work in the field. This girl's brother was supposed to come from the field, bring corn and take the finished lunch to the field so that both the parents and the workers could have lunch. The unfortunate woman picked zucchini, eggplants, and beans from the garden and prepared to cook it all, and her younger sister - not a girl, but a real temptation - took the donkey by the ear, led him to the collected vegetables, and the donkey ate everything. The unfortunate woman did not say anything to anyone and went back to the garden to buy vegetables. While she was tearing them again, her brother arrived from the field, and she was just putting food on the fire. The brother unloaded the mules and, seeing that the food was not ready yet, began to beat it! What suffering befell her every day! Her unhappy mother asked God that her daughter should die first, and then she, because she thought that there would be no one to care for her daughter. And indeed, first the daughter died, and then the mother.

But whatever you say, those who have mental retardation are in a better position than others. There can be no demand from such people, and therefore they move on to another life without exams.

The correct attitude of parents towards the injury of their children

There are mothers who, having learned during pregnancy that the child will be born crippled or mentally retarded, have an abortion and kill their child. They don't think that this child has a soul either. Many fathers come and tell me: “Will my child be defective? Why does God do this? I can't stand it." What shamelessness in relation to God such an attitude carries within itself, what stubbornness, what selfishness! Such people, if God helps them, will become even worse. One day a student came to my kaliva with his father, who had been damaged in his mind by his thoughts. This young man was treated with electric shock. The unfortunate man endured considerable embarrassment in his home. He was reverent. While making prostrations, he hit his head on the ground. “Maybe God will take pity on the earth,” he said, “and will pity me, who hit it.” That is, he thought that God, having taken pity on the earth, which was hurt by his blow, would take pity on him too! This impressed me! This young man considered himself unworthy. When he felt worse, he came to the Holy Mountain. I put his thoughts in order, for one or two months he lived more or less well, and then everything started all over again. His father did not want their friends to see his child because it hurt his pride. He suffered from his own selfishness. “My son compromises me in the eyes of people,” he told me. Hearing this, the son said to him: “Listen, you better humble yourself! Here I am, crazy and behaving naturally! Do you want to drive me into the narrow bounds of decency? Know that your child is crazy, and behave naturally. Are you the only one with a psychotic child? - "Wow! – I thought. “Which of them two is crazy?”

Do you see what selfishness often leads to? A father may even wish for the death of his child! When I lived in the world, I knew one mentally retarded child. When his parents went to visit, they didn’t take him with them so that they wouldn’t feel ashamed because of him! And they laughed at me because I was talking to this child. However, this child occupied a better place in my heart than those who laughed at him.

Chapter Four. About spiritual laws

How spiritual laws work

– Geronda, what laws are called spiritual?

- I'll explain to you. Just as there are laws of nature, so in spiritual life there are spiritual laws. Suppose a person throws a heavy object upward. The more force and the higher he throws it, the more force the object will fall down and break. This is a natural natural law. And in spiritual life, the higher a person rises from his pride, the stronger his spiritual fall will be, and in accordance with the height of his pride he will be broken [spiritually]. After all, a proud person rises up to a certain limit, and then falls and suffers complete failure. “Be exalted and humble yourself”(. See also ). This is a spiritual law.

However, there is a significant difference between natural and spiritual laws. Natural laws are “unkind” and man cannot change them. But spiritual laws are “compassionate”, and a person can change them. Because [in the case of spiritual laws] he deals with his Creator and Maker - with the Most Merciful God. That is, quickly realizing how “high” he has flown with his pride, a person will say: “My God, I have nothing of my own, and I’m still proud?! I'm sorry!" - and immediately the careful hands of God pick up this man and gently lower him down, so that his fall remains unnoticed. Thus, a person is not crushed by the fall, because he was preceded by heartfelt contrition and inner repentance.

The same thing happens in the case of the Gospel law: “For all those who take a knife with a knife will perish”(). That is, if I hit someone with a sword, then according to spiritual law I must pay for it by having them hit me with a sword. However, if I realize my sin, if my own conscience “beats me with a sword” and I ask God for forgiveness, then spiritual laws cease to operate, and I, like a healing balm, accept His love from God.

That is, in the depths of God’s judgments – and His judgments are an abyss – we see that God “changes” when people change. If a disobedient child comes to his senses, repents and is tormented by his conscience, then the father lovingly caresses and consoles him. Man can change God's decision! This is no joke. Are you doing evil? God hits you on the back of the head - Do you say “sinners”? He gives you His blessings.

Noble Children of God

Some people repented of their sin and God forgave them. Spiritual laws have ceased to operate, but despite this, people do not forget their sin. They urgently ask God to be punished for their sin in this life - in order to pay for it. And since they insist on this, the Good God fulfills their loving requests. However, in His Heavenly savings bank, in Paradise, He saves for them the bribe and the spiritual interest that accumulates on it. Such people are the noble children of God, His most loving children.

- Geronda, can a creation of human hands deteriorate because the one who created it admires it?

– Yes, because spiritual laws come into play. God takes His Grace from someone and the person spoils this thing, a work of art or the like. This happens so that those who are proud of the creation of their own hands will come to their senses and understanding.

– Geronda, that is, if someone spoils something made by another, does this mean that spiritual laws have come into effect?

- Yes, sure.

– Isn’t it possible that a person spoils something simply due to carelessness or inability?

– Such cases are rare. Therefore, live humbly as much as possible. Think about the fact that we have nothing of our own. Everything we have has been given to us by God. Everything we have is God’s. Ours are only sins. If we do not humble ourselves, then spiritual laws will come into force in relation to us constantly, until our egoism is crushed. And may - may God arrange everything this way and humble us until death finds us.

- Geronda, can a person not understand that spiritual laws have come into effect in relation to him?

– If a person does not take care of himself, then he does not understand anything and does not receive help from anything. Nothing is good for him.

– Geronda, that is, spiritual laws cease to operate only when a person humbles himself?

– Yes, mainly, they stop acting out of humility or in the case when there is nothing to ask from a person. I'll give you an example. One woman constantly beat her husband, and he did not tell anyone because he was a teacher and was afraid of losing his reputation. However, in his case, spiritual laws came into play. When he was little, he lost his father, and his widowed mother tried to train him to become a teacher with her small pension. And instead of thanking her, he beat her. What has this unfortunate mother suffered! And so, when he grew up and got married, God allowed his wife to beat him. God allowed this so that he would pay for his sin. But do you know what happened after? This man died, and his son began to beat his widow - his mother. Thus, she also paid for her sin. Then their son also grew up and got married. The girl he married was not right in the head. She not only beat him, but at the same time she also sang “Christ is risen from the dead, trampled upon by death”! Do you see how God arranged everything so that this person would also pay for his sins? However, at this point the spiritual laws ceased to operate, because there was nothing to ask of his unfortunate [crazy] wife.

– Geronda, if a person falls and grieves about it, does he pay off his spiritual debts in this way? Is he aware of his duty [to God] or is he grieving selfishly? If he realizes his debt, then he will no longer pay for his fall. However, if he does not realize his duty, then God will allow retribution. For example, a Christian should give alms to others. If a hard-hearted person does not give alms, but saves and saves money, then robbers come to him, beat him, take his money, and thus he pays for his mistake. If we have [spiritual] debts and do not pay for them in this life, then this is a very bad sign. This means that God has abandoned us. And if a person does not bear any punishments and accepts only blessings, then, apparently, he has done something good and for this good Christ pays him in this life - doubly and threefold. However, such a person does not pay for his mistakes. And that's bad too. Suppose I have done something good by ten percent, and Christ rewards me for it by twenty percent, and I have neither sorrows nor frustration. But in this case, I am not paying for my sins.

As Saint Isaac the Syrian says, misfortunes in this life reduce the torment of hell. That is, in such a case, spiritual laws come into effect in relation to a person, and some part of hellish torment disappears.

Part 3. "About sin and repentance"

"True repentance consists in first realizing your wrongdoing,

the man felt pain, asked God for forgiveness, and after that he confessed.

Thus comes divine consolation.

That's why I always advise people to repent and confess.

But I never advise them to confess."

Ch. 1. “On the fact that sin torments a person”

Cleansing the Heart
Geronda, is Christ able to fit into the heart of any person?
Christ is able to contain Him, but people are not able to contain Him, because they do not try to improve. In order for Christ to be contained within us, our heart must be cleansed. "Create in me a pure heart, O God..."

Geronda, why don’t wild animals harm the saints?
When people calm down, wild animals also calm down and recognize humans as their master. In Paradise, before the fall of Adam and Eve, wild animals reverently licked them, and after the fall they began to rush at them to tear them apart. When a person returns to the state in which he was before the Fall, the animals again recognize him as their master. However, today there are people who are worse than animals, worse than snakes. They use street children for personal gain, take their money, and when they see that clouds are gathering over them, they call the police, put all the blame on the minors, and even rent them out to insane asylums. Therefore, the one hundred and forty-seventh psalm, which the Monk Arsenius of Cappadocia read so that wild animals would become peaceful and would not do harm to people, I read with the goal that people would become peaceful and would not do harm to people like themselves or to animals.

Geronda, how does a person return to the state he was in before the Fall?
The heart must be cleansed. Do you need to achieve spiritual purity? that is, sincerity, honesty, selflessness, humility, kindness, gentleness, sacrifice. In this way, a person enters into a relationship with God and Divine Grace rests in him. If a person has bodily purity, but does not have spiritual purity, God does not rest in him, because wickedness, pride, malice and similar passions live in such a person. His life is one complete deception. Begin your feat precisely with this - with an effort to acquire spiritual purity.

Geronda, is it possible to cut off some bad habit at once?
First of all, a person must understand that this habit is harmful to him. Having realized this, he should be willing to start fighting to get rid of this habit. In order to cut off a bad habit in one fell swoop, you must have great willpower. The rope, having gradually rubbed the hollow in the well frame, no longer slides either to the right or to the left. Likewise, any habit gradually rubs a hollow in the heart and then comes out of this hollow with difficulty. Therefore, you need to be very careful not to acquire bad habits, because then it will take a lot of humility and great willpower to cut them off. As Father Tikhon said: “A good habit, son, is virtue, an evil habit is passion.”

But, whatever you say, I am convinced that if, while struggling, a person still continues to stumble and does not change, then the reason is his egoism, selfishness and self-interest. Such a person lacks humility and love, and this prevents divine intervention. The man himself does not allow God to help him. For example, if God helps such a person overcome some passion, then he will attribute it to himself and become proud, because he will decide that he coped with his passion on his own - without God’s help.

Deliverance from sinful darkness
Geronda, if a person stains himself [with sins] after Holy Baptism, is that very hard?
Depends on how dirty he gets himself. One will be smeared all over from head to toe, another will be splashed only a little, some will have one dirty spot, some will have two...

And what sins stain the Grace of Holy Baptism - serious ones?
Well, naturally, mortal sins desecrate Holy Baptism, and then Divine Grace also moves away from the Christian. Of course, She does not leave him [at all], just as the Guardian Angel does not leave him. Remember what the devil said to the idol priest, whose daughter one monk wanted to marry? "Take your time. This monk has left God, but God has not left him yet."

Geronda, is it possible to live in the darkness of sin and not feel it?
No, everyone feels it, but only people have indifference. In order for someone to come to the light of Christ, he must want to come out of sinful darkness. Let's take the example of a man who found himself in a dark cellar and accidentally slammed the door behind him. Seeing a ray of light breaking through some hole into the cellar, he goes towards this light, slowly widens the hole, finds a door and goes outside.

The same is true for a person who is in the darkness of sin: from the moment he feels good as a necessity and good concern enters into him, he will make efforts to get out of this darkness. Having said: “What I am doing is wrong, I have lost my way,” a person humbles himself, the Grace of God comes to him, and in the future he lives correctly. But if good concern does not enter into a person, then it is not easy for him to correct himself. For example, someone is sitting in a locked room and feels bad. You say to such a person: “Get up, open the door, go out into the fresh air and come to your senses,” and in response he begins: “I cannot go out into the fresh air. But tell me, why am I locked within four walls and cannot breathe? "Why is there no fresh air here? Why did God put me here and give others the opportunity to enjoy freedom?" Well, is it possible to help such a person? Do you know how many people suffer because they do not listen to someone who can provide them with spiritual help?

Through sin, man turns earthly paradise into earthly hellish torment. If the soul is stained with mortal sins, then the person experiences a demonic state: he rears up, suffers, and has no peace within himself. And on the contrary: he is peaceful who lives with God, directs his mind to divine meanings and constantly has good thoughts. Such a person lives in an earthly paradise. He has something noticeably different from someone who lives without God.
And this is also noticeable to others. This is Divine Grace, which reveals a person, even if he strives to remain in obscurity.

Sins by choice
We should be very attentive to sins of our own free will, because our will is what God will pay His attention to [when He judges us]. The sins we have committed through inattention are not so serious. Some sins also have mitigating circumstances, despite the fact that they still do not cease to be sins.

In addition, if we sin without wanting to do so, then God arranges everything so that our mistake can be used for something good. This does not mean that we had to sin in order for this “good” to happen - it’s just that God uses our sin for good and something good comes out of it, since we sinned without wanting it. However, if we repent of a sin that we committed consciously, then we [ourselves] need to pray so that some kind of evil does not result from our sin.

Geronda, how was that monk saved in “Evergetinos”? For ten years he fell into the same sin every day, but daily he repented for it.
The monk in question was in some way enslaved by passion, captivated by it. He did not have a bad disposition, but he did not receive help, he was pushed towards evil. Therefore, he had the right to divine help. He struggled, suffered, he had sincere repentance. And in the end God saved him. You see how: a person may have a good disposition, but if he does not receive help in childhood and becomes carried away by evil, then later it will be difficult for him to rise to his feet. A person tries [to get up], falls again, gets up again... That is, he struggles. God will not leave such a person. After all, the unfortunate person makes his own little effort, he asks for divine help and commits a sin without malicious intent. For example, a person goes on a journey without the goal of committing a sin. But, following this path, he is subjected to some kind of temptation and falls into sin. Then he repents, tries [to free himself from sin], but again they set some kind of trap for him, and the unfortunate man, not being inclined to do anything bad, falls again and repents again. Such a person has extenuating circumstances. After all, he does not want to do something bad, but is drawn towards evil, and then repents. But if someone says: “In order to achieve this goal, I need to commit such and such an injustice, in order to achieve something else, I need to commit such and such craftiness” - and the like, then he sins intentionally , realizing what he is doing. That is, such a person builds his sinful plan and, together with the devil, draws up a program for committing this or that sin. And this is very reprehensible, since [sin] is committed with premeditated intention. Such a person does not fall into any temptation, but begins to commit sin together with the tempter himself. He will never receive divine help because he has no right to it. In the end, such people die unrepentant.

But even those who say that they will repent in old age, how can they be sure that they will have time to repent and death will not take them by surprise? I remember one contractor who was living a life of sin. “When I get old,” he said, “I’ll go to Jerusalem, wash myself in the Jordan River, and all my sins will be blotted out.” And he continued to live as he lived. Finally, when he reached the point where he no longer had the strength to sin—he could barely walk—he decided to go to Jerusalem. “Listen,” he said to one of his masters, “I decided to go to Jerusalem and wash myself in the Jordan River.” “Eh, master,” he answered him, “if you’re clean, you’ll get there, if you’re unclean, you won’t get there.” As he prophesied anyway! As soon as the contractor reached Athens to complete the necessary documents, he died. Some people took all his money, took him to a funeral home and from there sent him back in a coffin to his city.

Let us do good out of love for Christ
Geronda, when I think about the difficult years ahead, I am overcome with fear.
What are you afraid of? Maybe you're afraid of going to hell and suffering along with the tangalashkas? I understand if you say this: “My Christ, help me to be worthy of Heaven, so as not to cause You pain. After all, it will be very difficult for You to know that I am in hell after all that You have done for me.” But there is no curiosity in the desire to be in Paradise for the sake of making you feel good. I am not saying this so that we begin to live laxly, go wild and end up in hellish torment. But sometimes a person develops a kind of addiction: “I will do good in order not to lose Paradise.”

If we have curiosity, then we will begin to think as follows: “So many unfortunate people who have not experienced even a little true joy in this life will suffer in hell, and I will begin to think about myself?” I’ll tell you frankly: the question of whether I’ll be in Heaven or Hell doesn’t concern me. I have already thrown myself aside. The question of whether I will be in Paradise does not occupy me, not because I do not want to be close to Christ, no. But I do not set myself the goal of doing good in order to thus earn myself Paradise. “Even if You throw me aside, my Christ,” I say, “I will not be offended: after all, I am not worthy of Paradise.”
Today our life is joyless and difficult, because heroism and curiosity have diminished. Even spiritual people think like petty traders and go so far as to live a supposedly spiritual life. They strive to snatch any pleasure from life before it turns into sin. “Is this [already] a sin [or not yet a sin]? Such people calculate. No, it’s not [yet] a sin. That means I can enjoy it.” For example, the post is treated like this: “Yeah, tomorrow we have something: Friday. Well, so, that means today you can eat meat until five minutes to twelve at night. Bring it, let’s eat! No, after twelve it’s no longer possible - a new day begins and it will be a sin." That is, such people want to enjoy earthly life and not lose Paradise. Thus, they treat sin and hellish torment like petty traders. However, if they thought honestly, they would say [to themselves] like this: “Christ endured the Crucifixion and suffered so much for my sake! So how can I hurt Him with my sinful act? I don’t want to end up in hellish torment for no other reason than that I will not be able to withstand the suffering of Christ, who will see that I am in hell."

Let us not do good with the expectation that we will receive a bribe for it, but we will strive for the love of Christ. Let us try to ensure that everything we do is pure and done for the sake of Christ. Let us be careful that [in our actions] there is no human element, self-indulgence, self-interest and the like. Let us remember that Christ sees us, watches over us, and we will try not to upset Him. Otherwise, our faith and our love are coming apart at the seams.

If we take a closer look at everything we do in spiritual life: asceticism,
fasting, vigil and the like, we will see that all [these means] strengthen our physical health. Does anyone [struggling] sleep on a hard bed? And doctors advise the same thing: “Sleep on a hard one, because sleeping on a soft one is harmful.” Is anyone making bows? Many people do gymnastics to strengthen their muscles. Anyone else content with little sleep? But long sleep stupefies a person. Don’t they say: “This man is like a sleepy fly, but that one over there is a good fellow, he doesn’t yawn?” That is, the spiritual exercises that a person does strengthen his physical health. And besides, a person receives great benefits from abstinence. After all, those who are engaged in scientific research and the like try to live chastely, so that their heads are not confused, but have clarity of thought. Of course, this is not the purpose of our [monastic] abstinence, but one of the results of the spiritual exercises that we perform is precisely the benefit that worldly people strive for. We do spiritual things, and through this spiritual thing we receive physical health.

Temptations in our lives
God allows temptations according to our spiritual state. In one case, He allows us to make some mistake, for example, to show a little inattention in something, so that next time we will be attentive and avoid, or, better said, prevent the greater evil that the tangalashka was preparing to do to us. In another case, He allows the devil to tempt us in order to test us. That is, [in this case] we pass exams and instead of evil, the devil does good to us. Remember Elder Philaret, who mourned: “Son, God has left me - today there was not a single temptation!” The elder wanted to fight temptations every day in order to receive a victorious crown from Christ.

A strong man, like Elder Philaret, does not avoid temptations, but asks Christ: “My Christ, send me temptations and give me strength to fight.” However, a weak person will say differently: “My Christ, do not let me fall into temptation.” "Lead us not into temptation..." However, often, falling into some kind of temptation, we begin to grumble: “Well, you can’t do that! After all, I’m also a man, I can’t do it anymore!”, whereas we should say: “I’m not a man, I’m human scum. , help me become human!" I am not calling for us to strive for temptation ourselves. But when temptations come, we must meet them with endurance and prayer.

During any spiritual winter storm, let us wait with patience and hope for spiritual spring. The greatest temptations usually sweep by like a hurricane. And if at the moment when they collapse, we manage to avoid them, then the demonic horde, flying [over us], is carried away further, and we are freed from danger. When a person unites with God, he no longer has temptations. Can the devil do harm to an Angel? No: [approaching him] he burns himself.

Spiritual life is very simple and easy. It is we ourselves who, by working incorrectly, complicate it. With a little effort and a lot of humility and trust in God, a person can be very successful. After all, where there is humility, there is no place for the devil. And where there is no devil, there are no devilish temptations.

Geronda, can a person fall into some kind of sin by God’s permission?
No, to say that God allows us to sin is a very serious mistake. God never allows us to fall into sin. It is we ourselves who allow ourselves [to give the devil a reason], and then he comes and begins to tempt us. For example, having pride, I drive away Divine Grace from myself, my Guardian Angel retreats from me, and another “angel” approaches me - that is, the devil. As a result, I fail completely. But this is not God’s permission, but I myself allowed the devil [to push me to sin].

Geronda, is it right to talk about some kind of fall: “It was the tempter who pushed me?”
I also often hear from some that the tempter is to blame for their suffering, when in fact we ourselves are to blame for the fact that we have the wrong attitude towards what happens to us. And besides, the tempter is, after all, a tempter. Will he keep us from evil? He does his job. Don't put all the blame on him. One novice lived in a kaliva with his Elder. One day, when the Elder was gone for a while, the novice took an egg and put it on the key ring - remember those old barn keys? - and began to fry the egg on the candle! Suddenly the Elder returns and finds him doing this. "What are you doing there?" - “Well, Geronda, the evil one tempted me to bake an egg!” - the novice began to make excuses. Suddenly a scary voice was heard in the room: “Well, no, I didn’t know such a recipe before! I learned it from him!” The devil sometimes sleeps, but we ourselves provoke him [to tempt us].

Sinners Have Plenty of Source Material for Humility
Those who previously lived a sinful life, and subsequently, having repented, began to live spiritually, should joyfully accept the humiliation and sorrow that happens to them, because by accepting them, they pay off their previous debts. We see that when the Venerable Mary of Egypt, who had previously lived sinfully, repented and changed her life, she was tormented by worldly lusts. However, in order to drive away these lusts, the saint entered into a great struggle. The devil told her: “Well, what will you lose if you take one look at Alexandria? I’m not pushing you to run there for a party! Just look at her a little from afar!” But the Saint did not even look in that direction. What a repentance she had! The other reverend wives, who had not previously lived a worldly life, did not experience such warfare. And the Venerable Mary, who lived a worldly life, also had abuse. This suffering [from warfare] is the cauterization of sinful wounds. In this way, both the first and the second come to an end in the same [spiritual] state.

Geronda, and in cases like the Venerable Mary of Egypt, the ascetic has no divine consolation at all?
Why doesn't it have! It has, and how much more! The Venerable Mary reached such a spiritual level that when she prayed, she rose to an elbow from the ground.
Great sinners, having known themselves, naturally have a lot of raw material for humility. Of course, any fall remains a fall. But the fall is also the source material, the “raw material” for humility and prayer. Sins, which are used by a sinner for humility, are like manure with which we fertilize plants. So why not use this substance to fertilize the field of your soul so that it becomes fertile and produces a harvest? That is, a person who has committed great sins, having felt how great his guilt is, and saying: “I should not raise my head and look at a person,” is greatly humbled and therefore accepts much Grace. He succeeds steadily, without failure, and can achieve considerable [spiritual] measure. And the one who has not committed great sins, without positioning himself correctly, will not say: “God saved me from many dangers, but I am so ungrateful. I am more sinful than the greatest sinner.” Such a person is spiritually inferior to a sinner who humbles himself.

Just remember the Pharisee and the tax collector. The Pharisee had business, but he also had pride. But the publican had sins, but he admitted them, lamented, and humbled himself - and this is the main thing that Christ wants from a person. Therefore, in an easy way, the publican was saved. Have you seen how the Pharisee is depicted on one icon? He points his finger at the publican: “I’m not like him!” The poor publican, hiding behind a column, does not dare raise his eyes to look around. And the Pharisee shows Christ with his finger where the publican is! Have you noticed this? One might think that Christ Himself did not know where the publican was hiding!

And so, despite the fact that the Pharisee fulfilled the external requirements of the law, all this did not bring him any benefit. What pride does! A sinner who does not have humility has the sins of a tax collector and the pride of a Pharisee. Double "talents"! As they say in Epirus, “both lousy and lousy.”

To become spiritually healthy, try, as far as possible, to cleanse yourself of spiritual toxins - that is, passions.

Every Orthodox person at some point faces the question of which path to choose: family life or monasticism? The Monk Paisius the Holy Mountain spoke about how to resolve it and what these paths are, whose instructions are presented to your attention in this article.

Hood. Vladimir Egorovich Makovsky

Every person, having reached a certain age, finds himself at a crossroads in life and sometimes does not know what to choose: the path of family life or monasticism. Elder Paisiy Svyatogorets tried to help such people and reminded that, first of all, it is necessary for oneself to understand what a person’s purpose is. According to him, one must always remember that the meaning of life is to achieve the Kingdom of Heaven, where two God-blessed paths lead. Both of these paths are different, but lead to the same goal. The most important thing is that those walking along one path do not judge those walking along another. Monasticism or family life in themselves does not make a person a saint, an heir to the longed-for paradise. Both of these paths have their own sorrows and troubles. Only personal curiosity and a diligent desire to strive for good deeds sanctify a monk or family man. Father Paisiy said: “Does he want to get married? Let him marry, but try with zeal to become a good head of the family and live a holy life. Does he want to become a monk? Let him become a monk, but try hard to become a good monk.” .

“The meaning of life is to reach the Kingdom of Heaven, where two paths blessed by God lead. Both of these paths are different, but lead to the same goal.”

A person going to a monastery should make sure that his desires are exclusively aimed at serving God, and not satisfying his own selfish thoughts inspired by pride. For if he did not start a family because in his youth he indulged in carnal passions, and now, tired of an unbridled life, hastily becomes a monk, it is very doubtful that in a monastery such a person will be able to fill the emptiness of his heart.

The main thing is that young people make their choice decisively and do not have pride and selfishness. Because sometimes young people consider themselves to be somehow special and save themselves for something exceptional, not like everyone else. “One might think that they are gold and they are afraid that they, like a simple piece of iron, will be used in a reinforced concrete structure”, - said the old man.

Some are afraid to make a choice because they consider the current times difficult. The elder said to this that this position is wrong, because if you have trust in Christ, then nothing is scary.

“Young people should try to avoid superficial enthusiasm for monasticism or family life”

Do not forget that the time of youth flies extremely quickly. Therefore, it is better for young people not to stand indecision at a crossroads, but to choose marriage or monasticism in accordance with their calling, disposition and inclinations, without postponing the decision until later. The older a person gets, the more difficult it is for him to make a choice, especially after thirty years, when his character has already been formed, and life experience forces him to act with an eye on the difficulties that accompany both paths, while young people are able to partially turn a blind eye to them. However, knowledge of the difficulties and sorrows that are encountered on both of these paths is necessary, for it can help to avoid superficial enthusiasm for both monasticism and family life. So what are these paths?

Monastic path

Monasticism is a special path of grace to which God himself calls a person. Elder Paisios wrote a lot about the deep meaning of monasticism in the Orthodox Church. The monk goes far, far away from the world because he loves the world and wants to help it with his prayer. He leaves from where something might interfere with his prayer, and goes to where he can perform pure and unceasing prayer for the whole world. If a lay person, showing a benefit to someone, helps with a pack of cereal or a pair of boots, then a monk, with his incessant prayerful standing, provides material assistance to the whole world, since the Good God, through his humble prayer, gives food to those in need. Great tonsure. 1898, art. Mikhail Nesterov Some argue that monks are lazy and do nothing and do not bring any benefit to the world. But the elder reminded that even before becoming monks, they leave the world, distributing to the needy their worldly property, which they no longer need. Thus, they bring great benefit to those in need while living in the world.

“Before entering a monastery, a young man or girl needs to mature internally”

For those who have chosen the path of monasticism, it is important to completely master their heart so that it does not have any feelings for any girl (boy). That is, when choosing monasticism, a young man or girl should not have a single drop of doubt. At the same time, it is necessary to distinguish between heartfelt feelings, the presence of which closes the entrance to the monastery, from ordinary carnal warfare, which is not an obstacle to entering the monastic path.

The novice needs to forget the world and everything worldly. To do this, he will be obliged to avoid meeting with worldly people, with visitors and relatives.

Before entering a monastery, a young man or girl needs to mature internally. Because every monk (or nun) is called to have a fatherly love for those who come for advice from the world. It is also necessary to be attentive to junior monks (nuns). This is important, because a monk who has not matured will always demand care for himself, but will not take care of others, as he should.
Spiritual nourishment, art. Vasily Ivanovich Navozov After entering the monastery, a new novice, and subsequently a monk, should not be deluded by the fact that he is changing outwardly. He must pay special attention to his internal change - transformation. In this regard, the words of Elder Paisios about himself are instructive: “My greatest enemy is the exaltation of monastic rank. Woe to the monk who only changes his name, and then does not acquire silence, and generally begins to imagine things about himself that do not exist in reality.” .

Unlike Christians in the world, monastics are obliged to pray unceasingly. A monk must use every temptation from the devil as a reason for prayer. It is necessary to pray that the Lord will help overcome passions.

“The life of a monk is a sacrifice. This is the essence of monasticism."

Since a monk has no worldly duties, he is obliged to develop great sacrifice. He must always and everywhere be ready to sacrifice himself in the name of Christ. Elder Paisios often repeated in his conversations that the life of a monk is a sacrifice. This is the essence of monasticism. A monk must, upon taking monastic vows, decide to die. Then, in a difficult moment, the monk will cope with fear, and will not renounce Christ, and will easily give himself up to torment. In this sense, a monk must always be ready for martyrdom.

The path of family life

If a young man has decided to get married, then he faces a difficult task - choosing a bride. Father Paisiy gave the young men advice on what, first of all, they should pay attention to when choosing a life partner.

According to the elder, the most important thing is that the girl, the future wife, is after her heart. In addition, it is good that she has such qualities as simplicity, humility, reliability, courage, so that she has the fear of God.
Wedding in the Orthodox Church, art. Andrey Kartashov. Speaking about the character of the future bride, Father Paisiy noted that a young man should not look for a soul mate with the same character as his. It’s better when the bride’s personality, disposition and character are different. Because the different characters of the future husband and wife complement each other, which is what makes up family happiness. For example, the husband is decisive, but the wife is not. In this case, the husband will make decisions in an extreme situation and will help his wife overcome her inappropriate prudence, and the wife, in times of danger, will be able to “slow down” her husband’s careless ardor. This way the family will always remain strong. The elder gave this clear example: “In a car you need both pedals: gas and brake in order to stop in time. If the car had one brake, it would not move, and if it only had an accelerator, it would not be able to stop.”. In addition, the difference in the characters of the spouses allows the children to be in a state of balance: the father’s strictness keeps the children in line, and the mother’s kindness helps them develop freely. Therefore, neither the groom nor the bride should under any circumstances break their character - they just need to start using it correctly, so that it benefits the family.

“The most important thing is that the girl, the future wife, is after her heart”

Elder Paisios insisted that the period between the proposal and the wedding should not be too long. At this time, it is necessary to maintain virginity and a chaste attitude towards each other. It is very important to learn this from the very beginning, then it will be possible to avoid many painful moments in relationships in future family life.

There is no more complex thing on earth than human relationships. And the relationship between husband and wife is doubly complex. The husband and wife need to learn and demonstrate in their lives all those virtues that are necessary for all Orthodox Christians. At the basis of the life of the spouses, at the core of their relationship, there should always be: love and humility, spiritual nobility, sacrifice, patience, which begins with love and pain for a loved one, the constant cultivation of good, meek thoughts. Patience is needed to tolerate each other's quirks and keep the family from falling apart. Humility - to be lenient towards the shortcomings and weaknesses of the spouse. It’s good when spouses have, as the elder put it, a “good quarrel,” that is, when spouses constantly strive to take over each other’s responsibilities, to work more so that the other can rest more. When the elder was asked who in the family should do household chores, he answered: “Whoever succeeds first gains...” .
Hood. Panov Eduard. Daily reading and knowledge of the Gospel and the desire to implement it in family life also greatly contribute to a good atmosphere in the family.

A husband must love his wife. This love should be so strong and complete that it can overflow and be transmitted to everyone around. The wife, in turn, is obliged to honor her husband. This respect should even turn into a kind of reverence, as before a shrine. Because for any wife, the husband is a shrine. In no case should a wife contradict her husband, because this is a cheeky disposition unworthy of a true Christian. If spouses have such deep feelings of love for each other, then they feel closeness even at a distance. And if there are no such feelings, then they will be far from each other, even if they are nearby. However, Elder Paisios warns all spouses that one cannot love a husband or wife more than God. Such distorted love leads to divorce. People don’t understand why at first they lived in perfect harmony, and then their relationship fell apart sharply, and there is nothing left but to get a divorce.

Also, the cause of divorce is often the infidelity of one of the spouses. However, in such cases, the elder persuaded the injured party to endure with all his might, pray as much as possible, behave kindly with the one who cheated, and not lead to divorce, because the utmost love, patience, compassion of the injured party returns the culprit to the good path , because his (or her) heart softens seeing such devotion.

Elder Paisios says the same thing about betrayal as he does about injustice. That is, that it should be treated spiritually. A spouse in any situation should not say: “I’m right.” Spouses, even if they are right, do not have the right to be right. They should always strive to bring peace to another.

The birth of children is a blessing from God. Therefore, you should not make your own plans, but it is best to blame the problem of childbirth on God. Nowadays, many families are subjected to such an ordeal as infertility. The elder believed that there could be many reasons for this. Sometimes infertility befalls those women who, when they had the health to give birth, were picky and did not want to get married. And having gotten married at an old age, they could not conceive and give birth to a child. But infertility is not always a consequence of a sinful, wrong life. The Lord has his own plan of salvation prepared for each person. Therefore, God immediately gives a child to someone, but is slow to give to someone else. Everything is the Will of God. “Spouses should always be ready to accept the will of God into their lives. God does not abandon a person who trusts himself to Him.”. A married couple should treat the fact that they have no children with great humility, because God, “seeing that spouses experiencing difficulties in connection with the birth of children have humility, ... can not only give them a child, but also make them have many children” .

“A husband must love his wife. This love must be so strong and complete that it can overflow and be transmitted to everyone around him.”

Those who do not have children of their own should, for example, help some child in need of help when the opportunity arises. The elder was very sorry for childless women, because the love that the Lord placed in their hearts does not find a way out. He taught that one must derive spiritual benefit from the current situation. For example, do charity work, help those in need. A woman’s heart must definitely direct the love that is embedded in it towards some cause.

In general, in a family you need to be content with little and give alms to those in need. Elder Paisios said: “By giving alms to those in need, a person helps himself and his family.” .

In addition, a prayer rule should be performed daily in the family. It is good for parents to pray together for at least some time. Children also need to be present at prayer, but there should be no pressure on them - the duration of children's prayer depends on age. In a family, it is very important for everyone to sit down at the table together; before eating, you must read a prayer. If spouses have different spiritual development, they should adapt to each other and together strive for perfection with reasoning.

Father Paisius himself helped people most of all, both families and monastics, through prayer, but at the same time he instructed those who came to him. And the words of the reverend elder provide great help to many people to this day.
Paisiy Svyatogorets, elder. Testimony of pilgrims. M.: Sretensky Monastery Publishing House, 2011. - P. 81.

Paisiy Svyatogorets, elder. A word about parents and their responsibilities. M.: Holy Mountain, 2011. - P. 14.

Right there. - P. 15.

Paisiy Svyatogorets, elder. Words. T. IV. Family life. M.: Holy Mountain, 2001. - P. 165.